Denice

From:Groupie and the Booze - The Lure of Drinking Fraternities

Stepping inside the world of drinkers, one would see that group drinking is a complex issue. For one thing, men perceive the tradition of drinking as a spice and bonding to friendship. Beyond the bottle is the tie that binds. “It’s also partly due to ‘pakikisama’,” says Alex, project contractor as he refers to a distinct Filipino tradition of getting along with the system. “I am working for a construction company where drinking is part of the system among colleagues, until we developed a drinking fraternity among ourselves.”

But why alcohol of all beverages? What’s in this strong drink that’s almost always there in the company of men? Whoever conceptualized the slogan “sarap maging barkada” for a popular beer ad must be toying around this notion.

A collaboration between the experts (psychologists) and para-experts (drinkers themselves) provides further indespensable truths behind the charisma of group drinking. Men turn to alcohol:

To relax. “It’s a sociology thing,” remarks Stephen, a Sociology student. “A drinking spree is a means for us to relax from work or from school. It’s also about peer pressure. Everybody does it, so I’ve got to do it, too, you know. And because alcohol is a depressant, drinking alone can make you sad or angry, but when you’re having fun with your drinking buddies, it doesn’t immediately happen until your whole body is dominated by alcohol,” he adds.

To forget problems. According to psychologist Frank Bruno, PhD, it is possible to temporarily blot out one’s troubles with alcohol. The classic film The Lost Weekend would also show the main character waking up on a Monday morning and realizes that he has no memory of 48 hours. “I tend to express myself better and become more creative since I feel worry-free after a few drinks,” observes Martin, a graphic designer, as he experiences such temporal vacancy.

To reduce shyness. Remember when some men have to drink it up in order to build confidence before they can bring themselves to court a girl? “Shyness is a common personality trait, and alcohol helps the individual to feel more self-confident in social relations,” suggests Dr. Bruno in his book Psychological Symptoms.

To get rid of inhibitions. “It’s got the kick,” says Roy, a computer technician. “When you drink you feel like you can do anything that you can’t when sober,” he adds. The more fluids are slid down the throat, the less inhibited drinkers become. Alcohol also often paves the way for sexual relations, reducing inhibitions and moral restraints, according to Dr. Bruno.

Buddies taking the shots speak the same language. They can talk about stuff that they can’t usually discuss with their mothers, girlfriends or wives —- such as women and sex. “Everybody agrees with everybody and they feel like kings of the world. I think that’s why they drink in groups because alone, they don’t feel powerful enough,” Stephen believes.

to be continued….

More:

Men who flock together for a drinking spree amaze me. They would disappear from their women, their work or studies to be with their friends for a night of splurging. It wouldn’t really matter whether it’s a weekday or a weekend as long as they can sneak out from the rest of the world. They would do it for the thrill and sometimes it becomes a habit. “Pour buddy,” one sip leads to another.

Seeing them together, one would forget what psychologist John Gray has been talking about men being from planet Mars and therefore are species who do not pour their minds and hearts out as women. Their red noses bear witness to the many glasses of liquor consumed through those happy hours and beyond at a bar, a beer house, a tavern, a sari-sari store, at kumpare’s house — wherever alcohol exists. Never mind the risk of a horrendous hangover, a bulging belly, disruptions from duties and sometimes personal relationships going sour, too.

The lure of drinking fraternities seems to transcend race, genes and socio-economic class since 400 B.C. — as long as history can remember. Hence, the ever bullish alcohol industry that also keeps spending millions of dollars in advertising to declare that group drinking is cool, and that it’s part of the cheers to the good life.

Continue here: Stepping inside

Whenever Sunday comes, I make sure Kyle and I have sufficient time for bonding. Apart from the time I make for this, free time for me means being with Kyle for longer times to share activities together. This include going to the groceries, playing with his cars and transformer robots and of course, reading bedtime stories before he goes to bed..

Recently, I read from a parenting magazine that exposing a child to greeneries or outdoor scenes will help him concentrate in class. Now that he’s attending alternative pre-school, I make sure our itinerary for the day includes taking Kyle to a park.

Since Bonifacio High is close by, my family takes advantage of the park before the place gets fully saturated. There are so many scene stealers within this mini LA in Fort Bonifacio. For me, however, nothing is more watch worthy than seeing my son enjoying the greeneries as he runs, jumps, rolls over and walk hand in hand with his mama and daddy.

Related Post:

I remember getting invited for two occasions already by my high school Alma Matter to give an inspirational speech to the graduating high school students. It’s really sad that I had to decline twice due to unmatched availabilities.

Looking back, I wondered what I would have said. I wondered how the school would have reacted if I did away with the usual litany of how I climbed up the ladder (if the thing really did exist) in my career and instead, leave that to the one making the introductions?

I wondered how my speech is going to sound like? I’d probably zero in on sharing to them, from the bottom of my heart, just exactly what I have come to learn between then and now.

They are too many to mention, as I expected. The words I’d be saying would probably be said earlier by someone else for all I know. And yet, if I really have to tell them what I have come to realize about success in education and career between then and now, it would certainly include the following:

• Education isn’t everything. A job or career isn’t everything. Money isn’t everything. Even family isn’t everything. Almighty Heavenly Father Yahweh is everything. Put Him first in your life and everything will follow.

• Always give more than what is expected of you. That extra mile you take spells all the difference.

• In most cases, you do not need a contest to know if you have won or lost.

• Do not compare yourself with others and resist the urge to go with the trend just because people around you say so. Only you know what fits. Go for your dreams no matter how impossible nor unpopular they seem. If you really have to, compete only with yourself and no one else. If you really have to know how you are faring as a person, check out the Bible.

• When the time comes and you have to choose between a career and family, choose family without blinking. On the other hand, note that “work-life” balance do exist.

Share your blessings whenever you can and no matter how small they seem. I believe this is one of the most important measures of success —- how many lives you have touched and how many times you have become a blessing to others. Do your share to make this place called Earth a better place to live in because of you.

More Speech:

I swear I’m such a night person. Looking back, the articles I’ve written for magazines and broadsheets were all done in the evenings. The same for most of the presentation materials I’ve prepared.

There’s something about the hours of darkness that stir my imagination and ideas like a windmill. But that’s a concern for someone who’s got a day job and a son who has to be early in his class — and it happens to be me!

Because of my day job, I am learning to sleep early and head off to work early as well. But what drives me more to get up early is the thought that I can have the special privilege to prepare my son’s baon and be in the same car with him on his way to pre-school (my office is along the way, that’s way).

These days, I’m beginning to think that I’m veering away from my nocturnal history and finally adjusted. I’m glad that my brain can still be trained to “think” in the daylight. Besides, medical experts say it’s healthier.

* * *

Next to temperance, a quiet conscience, a cheerful mind and active habits, I place early rising as a means of health and happiness.
- Timothy Flint

Early rising not only gives us more life in the same number of our years, but adds likewise to their number; and not only enables us to enjoy more of existence in the same measure of time, but increases also the measure.
- Charles Caleb Colton

When one begins to turn in bed, it is time to get up.
- Duke of Wellington, Arthur Wellesley

Related Quotes:

Growth is such a painful but rewarding process.

A caterpillar must risk shedding off its maturing layers in order to blossom into a beautiful butterfly. David of the Psalms fame must face Goliath before he’d become a future king of Israel. Joseph had to suffer being thrown inside a deep well before he’d become the right hand of Pharaoh. Yahshua our Messiah had to fulfill his mission and die for our sins prior to sitting on the right hand of Almighty Yahweh.

Without David’s episodes with Goliath, he’d still be a shepherd. Had Joseph not have been a subject of envy among his brethren, he’d not become a high ranking official in Egypt. Had Yahshua our Savior did not go through what he had to go through, no one would be saved and the evil one would have triumphed.

Growth in anything — personal or family life, career and other similar competition anyone is faced with — is almost always preceded by a period (or periods) of challenges.

So my dear friends, press on, hang on, keep praying for strength and endurance, because growth is on the way.

Can you guess…

1. Where I first saw my engagement ring from my future husband?
2. Where I first met my future in-laws a year after?
3. Where my in-laws met their grandson for the first time two years after?

Answer: Airport (Old Bacolod Airport)

I had basic geography subject when I was in high school, but I never really paid attention to it. Like many Pinoys who are not as adept in maps compared to our foreign counterparts (especially Americans and Europeans), maps did not seem to be a basic necessity for me when I travel.

Many times, I have seen that by nature, Pinoys are accommodating and because of this, I have been so used to asking around in case I’d get lost somewhere or am not sure of my route. Another possible reason is the fact that by default, it’s no big deal for me when I’d get lost. It’s not like I’d lose my shirt over a wrong turn or something like that unlike some people (I know some of them do).

It’s only recently when I realized that a map can be my friend especially when traveling out of the country and when faced with security concerns (i.e. you’re in a dangerous place).

My former boss was the one who taught me my basic geography. Whenever we’d travel together for fieldwork, he never stopped to amaze me with his proficiency in understanding maps. Even if it’s our first time to go to a certain place, he could tell prior to arriving there how many minutes it would take for us to get there (but he would want you to tell him facts in terms of kilometers rather than minutes), how many railroads, bridges, and other landmarks we’d meet along the way and whether it’s going to be a smooth or rough ride.

One instance was our fieldwork in Batangas. I’ve been there many times because that’s the hometown of my dad (although it’s been ages since I went there again) whereas my boss would only be there for the first time. I was so stunned that he seemed to know the innards of the place more than I did. Our driver felt the same way and I remember him telling me once, “Wow, what a guy. He doesn’t seem to get lost. He can get you lost but you can never get him lost.”

He is a British guy by the way and his resume said that he graduated with honors in archeology and geography with master degrees to boot on both. I felt really fortunate to have worked with him. If there’s something I learned from my former boss, this would be on geography (just the basics lest you think I’m a pro) and the importance of having a map with you.

Maps:

I love to travel. I like to move around from place to place and appreciate the beauty of my surroundings including nature and modern atmosphere. It jives with my personality of being such a curious cat. I probably have such a deep urge to discover where, what, when, why/why not, who, how and most of all discover the universe.

Traveling is my life. I make sure that my lifestyle involves getting my feet busy — at home or at work (that’s why the recent gasoline price hikes affect me and my family because we’re such a gasoline station patronizer and shifting to LPG has not occurred to us at least in the short term).

I would say that shopping is an inevitable hobby of mine as well. I mean, if I happen to pass by a certain market selling something that I like and screaming before me “buy me, buy me!” how could I resist? Believe it or not, food is not normally among them. The loud screamers are mini mementos that range from keychains, accessories, books, magazines CDs to bags, shoes and clothes among other small stuff that I believe I would not be able to find elsewhere.

I generally like the memories and adventure that go along with traveling. Each adventure leaves a piece of memento in my thoughts. Strangely, the ones that linger in my heart are those unplanned itineraries.

I’d probably share some of my traveling escapades in bits and pieces once I am able to find time to cool my heels and come to terms with my laptop one of these days.

* * * *

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. ~St. Augustine

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. ~Lao Tzu

Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen. ~Benjamin Disraeli

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. ~Henry Boye

More Travel:

At age four, I sense that Kyle’s interest revolves around automobiles, books and magazines (still about automobiles and robots), and techno gadgets which include laptop, a desktop, cellphone, headphones and yes, a camera (I’m not so surprised because photography happens to be among the favorite hobbies of his dad and mom). His lola and titas are happy that most of their recent photos where they look great were taken by Kyle.

In this photo, Kyle the music aficionado shows the world he is his mother’s son.

Related Stories: