Denice

The book “Lead, Don’t Manage Your People” was formally launched on late afternoon of October 10 -11, 2008 at the Top Shelf in Fully Booked, Bonifacio High Street in Manila.

Its author Jim Black happens to be a former boss of my former colleague, Yolly. It was also the first time for Yolly and me to meet again after she left the company I presently work with.

Yolly introduced me to Jim and I was one of the few who were able to personally had a tête-à-tête with him. Jim already went back to the U.S. and hopefully he’ll hit the town again by February next year.

In the meantime, here’s sharing Yolly’s email message right after the book launch:

Subject: Thank you!!

Dear all:

Thank you so much for participating to Jim’s book launch yesterday.

I would like to recognize the  hard work of  Rhea, Nimfa and  Team - for making the 2-day book launch happen —   and coffee was excellent !!

Of course to Lia - gee…your cream puffs were delicious…..expect an order from me…..(I’m sure the rest will place their order too) and the full support you’ve also given to Jim.

Denice and Regin (and to your brother) - thanks for being there!!!

I have attached some pix for souvenir.

See you again sometime and I had a great time with you all!!

Best regards,

Yolly

As far as technological advancement is concerned, I should consider myself the most resistant to change.

In college for instance, my paper submissions in class were typewritten instead of computerized despite the availability of computers in the school and amidst the popularity of the DOS in the 90s. Probably one of the reasons why my classmates and professors would tell me that my outputs “stood out” : - ) By the way, I was using a manual typewriter and not the electric type back then.

Yet once I stepped out of school and into the workplace, I realized the importance of learning the basic Windows stuff. I was grateful to my first boss who taught me Microsoft Word, Excel, Access and other sorts of software that I needed to get things done. Thankfully, my skills in piano probably helped me learn fast and well. Once I was able to sink into these programs, I got excited knowing how easier things were when you’d be able to save your files. Knowledge of these helped me write some more stuff.

By the time the new millennium came, technological advancement has been very rapid. One day, I woke up and people change their cellphones like changing clothes. I hated the thought of having to upgrade my phone just because the model is outdated especially if it meant changing my number as well.

But then, phones get stolen (mine included). Karaoke machines and photo films get phased out and iPod and digicams keep smiling at you (as of this writing, these are still hot : - )

My point is that unless absolutely necessary, I don’t give in to the pressure to upgrade. I can adapt to change fast, but I realized that I can’t let go easily.

But then again, time and chance happens to us all, as Proverbs would say. Necessity itself will teach me how. Before I know it, laptops, iPhone, digicams and whatchamacallit have become my “can’t-live-without” items for day-to-day without meaning to.

From:

The Lure of Drinking Fraternities

Stepping inside

What else do they love to talk about over the rounds of liquor? Adam’s rib can’t help but get (disturbingly) curious. “It depends on the level of drunkness, so to speak,” says Rock, a confessed groupie drinker. “We usually start with what happened during the day, airing our frustrations with our stupid boss and lousy jobs then proceed with graphic details of our sexual conquests and sometimes saying them loud enough.” The women they would brag about, he notices, are usually those whom they fantasize about, or one who runs after them, but almost never their wives or girlfriends. Call it the ego-trip phase.

Rock went on to say that “sometimes the men start to become philosophical the more they drink, then they start to talk about more serious stuff.” The more drinks are being absorbed into the body system, the deeper the level of conversation among group drinkers. At this stage, the “Marsians” open up and breathe out their heartaches mostly involving their personal relationships. Rock also observes that drunk people are not afraid to cry — an act that’s taboo among the men. They seem to take advantage of the fact that they can always rationalize when the drinking palaver is through. “Who me… cried? Blame it on the booze, man!”

“It’s like they are in a therapy session or some kind of a confessional booth without walls where the talker feels absolved from something after venting out his thoughts and feelings,” says Christabel Garcia-Chao, MA, psychologist and professor of psychology at the Assumption Graduate School.

Unlike the real therapy sessions, however, “too much drinking produces significant damage to one’s health, career and relationships with self and one’s family,” Chao warns.

That’s when we also hear of so many brawling and fighting where too much alcohol is involved either, since drunk guys are no longer sensible, and if someone dares to disagree with someone else then the trouble begins. Some conversations lead to arguments and fights, especially when alcohol reaches the head as the belly is full. They would then seem to center around doing what they wanted to do, saying what they want to say without regard for the rights, wishes or privileges of anyone else — which they can later on regret as they snap back after the morning nausea.

Still, it’s a reality that men who drink in groups may see alcohol as the panecea of all ills. A chorus from the Mighty Mighty Bosstone’s Another Drinking Song can further show where they are coming from:

“Counting on a remedy I’ve counted on before

Going with the cure that’s never failed me

What you call a disease

I call the remedy

What you’re calling the cause

I call the cure…”

So why ruin a good thing by suggesting that two drinks per day is enough or else, that assertiveness training seminar is readily available, or that Alcoholic Anonymous is standing by should they go overboard? “Upgrade guys, we now have reached the era of cyber bonding and cafe society,” I even find myself pointing to another bordello.

to be continued….

From:Groupie and the Booze - The Lure of Drinking Fraternities

Stepping inside the world of drinkers, one would see that group drinking is a complex issue. For one thing, men perceive the tradition of drinking as a spice and bonding to friendship. Beyond the bottle is the tie that binds. “It’s also partly due to ‘pakikisama’,” says Alex, project contractor as he refers to a distinct Filipino tradition of getting along with the system. “I am working for a construction company where drinking is part of the system among colleagues, until we developed a drinking fraternity among ourselves.”

But why alcohol of all beverages? What’s in this strong drink that’s almost always there in the company of men? Whoever conceptualized the slogan “sarap maging barkada” for a popular beer ad must be toying around this notion.

A collaboration between the experts (psychologists) and para-experts (drinkers themselves) provides further indespensable truths behind the charisma of group drinking. Men turn to alcohol:

To relax. “It’s a sociology thing,” remarks Stephen, a Sociology student. “A drinking spree is a means for us to relax from work or from school. It’s also about peer pressure. Everybody does it, so I’ve got to do it, too, you know. And because alcohol is a depressant, drinking alone can make you sad or angry, but when you’re having fun with your drinking buddies, it doesn’t immediately happen until your whole body is dominated by alcohol,” he adds.

To forget problems. According to psychologist Frank Bruno, PhD, it is possible to temporarily blot out one’s troubles with alcohol. The classic film The Lost Weekend would also show the main character waking up on a Monday morning and realizes that he has no memory of 48 hours. “I tend to express myself better and become more creative since I feel worry-free after a few drinks,” observes Martin, a graphic designer, as he experiences such temporal vacancy.

To reduce shyness. Remember when some men have to drink it up in order to build confidence before they can bring themselves to court a girl? “Shyness is a common personality trait, and alcohol helps the individual to feel more self-confident in social relations,” suggests Dr. Bruno in his book Psychological Symptoms.

To get rid of inhibitions. “It’s got the kick,” says Roy, a computer technician. “When you drink you feel like you can do anything that you can’t when sober,” he adds. The more fluids are slid down the throat, the less inhibited drinkers become. Alcohol also often paves the way for sexual relations, reducing inhibitions and moral restraints, according to Dr. Bruno.

Buddies taking the shots speak the same language. They can talk about stuff that they can’t usually discuss with their mothers, girlfriends or wives —- such as women and sex. “Everybody agrees with everybody and they feel like kings of the world. I think that’s why they drink in groups because alone, they don’t feel powerful enough,” Stephen believes.

to be continued….

More:

Men who flock together for a drinking spree amaze me. They would disappear from their women, their work or studies to be with their friends for a night of splurging. It wouldn’t really matter whether it’s a weekday or a weekend as long as they can sneak out from the rest of the world. They would do it for the thrill and sometimes it becomes a habit. “Pour buddy,” one sip leads to another.

Seeing them together, one would forget what psychologist John Gray has been talking about men being from planet Mars and therefore are species who do not pour their minds and hearts out as women. Their red noses bear witness to the many glasses of liquor consumed through those happy hours and beyond at a bar, a beer house, a tavern, a sari-sari store, at kumpare’s house — wherever alcohol exists. Never mind the risk of a horrendous hangover, a bulging belly, disruptions from duties and sometimes personal relationships going sour, too.

The lure of drinking fraternities seems to transcend race, genes and socio-economic class since 400 B.C. — as long as history can remember. Hence, the ever bullish alcohol industry that also keeps spending millions of dollars in advertising to declare that group drinking is cool, and that it’s part of the cheers to the good life.

Continue here: Stepping inside