Denice

Being a bookworm that I am, it saddens me that the Books For Less outlet along Pearl Drive has closed shop recently. It used to be my favorite place to hang out with my son and niece. The place is within close proximity to the clinic of their pediatrician. So when either of them would have check-up, the rest of us would wait in Books for Less, read and end up buying a few pieces.

And why not? It sells interesting books and most of all, its salespersons know what customer service is about. They have been friendly and patient with the kids. I understand that the owner is the outlet is the owner of my other favorite shop, Papemelroti.

A few months later by today, I was meaning to visit the place again but as I mentioned earlier, it’s no longer there. I can only wish it relocates to another site as cozy as where it used to be situated in.

I read somewhere that the best time to take a break is when you don’t have the time to. So I guess I should’ve taken a break today eh… although I just came back from a two-week hibernation from the corporate world.

The tons of papers “for my urgent attention” welcomed me back from my vacation leave as I stared at my desk. Furthermore, I didn’t know I was in for at least two meetings for today, plus at least two client calls and a PTA meeting in between for this week alone. To top it all, I will have one more warm body to accommodate in my team who needs all the guidance from me. Did I mention that I have nearly a thousand emails to check? Whoa, welcome back, Ms. Me. Brace yourself for the full speed ahead!

The book “Lead, Don’t Manage Your People” was formally launched on late afternoon of October 10 -11, 2008 at the Top Shelf in Fully Booked, Bonifacio High Street in Manila.

Its author Jim Black happens to be a former boss of my former colleague, Yolly. It was also the first time for Yolly and me to meet again after she left the company I presently work with.

Yolly introduced me to Jim and I was one of the few who were able to personally had a tête-à-tête with him. Jim already went back to the U.S. and hopefully he’ll hit the town again by February next year.

In the meantime, here’s sharing Yolly’s email message right after the book launch:

Subject: Thank you!!

Dear all:

Thank you so much for participating to Jim’s book launch yesterday.

I would like to recognize the  hard work of  Rhea, Nimfa and  Team - for making the 2-day book launch happen —   and coffee was excellent !!

Of course to Lia - gee…your cream puffs were delicious…..expect an order from me…..(I’m sure the rest will place their order too) and the full support you’ve also given to Jim.

Denice and Regin (and to your brother) - thanks for being there!!!

I have attached some pix for souvenir.

See you again sometime and I had a great time with you all!!

Best regards,

Yolly

Bentley launched its slogan campaign that says “The best luxury of all is time. Savour each moment.” I figured this must be my sister Christabel’s mantra when it comes to traveling.

A few weeks ago, her family and mine were together when we decided to go up to Baguio for an overnight stay. The very first suggestion I got from her is this: “let us do our best not to go to the wet market. I did not go through all the zigzag road just to haggle at the wet market which I’ve been doing back home over 30 years or so.” Because of this, our itinerary zeroed in on the most notable places that are close to our hearts, namely, Camp John Hay/John Hay Manor, Mile High, Mines View Park and yes, Barrio Fiesta for lunch on the following day. There we spent about two days bonding and having “Kodak” moments.

Funny and strange as it seemed, I realized she has a point. I think that if we truly break free from our usual routines when we are on holiday, our vacation will be well spent. As we often hear, if it’s not fun, we are not doing it right.

Today was a special day for my family because we attended the Gymboree Olympics held at the Grand Atrium of Shangri-La Plaza. This marks Gymboree’s 6^th year in the Philippines.

On the way there, Kyle seemed puzzled that we told him we’re going to attend Gymboree Olympics but our car did not pass through the normal route but rather through Ortigas. We arrived in green which represented Serendra team.

Kyle finally believed he’s in Gymboree indeed when he saw his teachers and classmates.

If Kyle was excited, I was doubly ecstatic and a bit nervous because Kyle was a contestant for the beach ball throwing (game appropriate for Level 7 students). He was one of the five Serendra students tapped for this game. I felt that I was the one competing — his victory and otherwise are also mine. So this was how it felt, I finally said to myself.

In the end, it was his best friend Yvan who won while Kyle still won a medal and consolation prize. We were still very happy because for us, what’s important is that Kyle did his best and that he enjoyed this day.

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You’ll never know what you’re gonna get.” This is the famous line by the character Forrest Gump. I cannot help but think about this thought as I looked back at how things were during my time in high school.

Come to think of it. No one ever thought about adding a subject “Preparing for College: Possible Courses to Consider” where particular focus would be to give students a comprehensive basis for selecting the course they deem appropriate for their interest, skills and abilities.

During my time, a high school student would be lucky if he she had older friends and relatives who would share idea of their courses and careers. Otherwise, one would be left guessing or going by what’s popular unless he or she would be very sure of what he or she wants to become someday. I have yet to meet one though in real life.

Of course, our skills and abilities are useful gauge. But I think that it would really help high school students make wise decisions about their choice of course in college if the school would provide them options and ample information. Maybe something as simple as inviting a nurse, pilot, flight steward, doctor, policeman, engineer, architect, journalist, actor, etc. to talk about what it’s like to have a job like what they have. What are the pros and cons. What course, skills and abilities are required, among others. This way, shifting is avoided (thereby wasting no money on an unwanted course) and more students would be happy with their chosen field.

Had something like this in college but I personally feel it’s too late. Informing a student as early as in high school is better.

As far as technological advancement is concerned, I should consider myself the most resistant to change.

In college for instance, my paper submissions in class were typewritten instead of computerized despite the availability of computers in the school and amidst the popularity of the DOS in the 90s. Probably one of the reasons why my classmates and professors would tell me that my outputs “stood out” : - ) By the way, I was using a manual typewriter and not the electric type back then.

Yet once I stepped out of school and into the workplace, I realized the importance of learning the basic Windows stuff. I was grateful to my first boss who taught me Microsoft Word, Excel, Access and other sorts of software that I needed to get things done. Thankfully, my skills in piano probably helped me learn fast and well. Once I was able to sink into these programs, I got excited knowing how easier things were when you’d be able to save your files. Knowledge of these helped me write some more stuff.

By the time the new millennium came, technological advancement has been very rapid. One day, I woke up and people change their cellphones like changing clothes. I hated the thought of having to upgrade my phone just because the model is outdated especially if it meant changing my number as well.

But then, phones get stolen (mine included). Karaoke machines and photo films get phased out and iPod and digicams keep smiling at you (as of this writing, these are still hot : - )

My point is that unless absolutely necessary, I don’t give in to the pressure to upgrade. I can adapt to change fast, but I realized that I can’t let go easily.

But then again, time and chance happens to us all, as Proverbs would say. Necessity itself will teach me how. Before I know it, laptops, iPhone, digicams and whatchamacallit have become my “can’t-live-without” items for day-to-day without meaning to.

From:

The Lure of Drinking Fraternities

Stepping inside

What else do they love to talk about over the rounds of liquor? Adam’s rib can’t help but get (disturbingly) curious. “It depends on the level of drunkness, so to speak,” says Rock, a confessed groupie drinker. “We usually start with what happened during the day, airing our frustrations with our stupid boss and lousy jobs then proceed with graphic details of our sexual conquests and sometimes saying them loud enough.” The women they would brag about, he notices, are usually those whom they fantasize about, or one who runs after them, but almost never their wives or girlfriends. Call it the ego-trip phase.

Rock went on to say that “sometimes the men start to become philosophical the more they drink, then they start to talk about more serious stuff.” The more drinks are being absorbed into the body system, the deeper the level of conversation among group drinkers. At this stage, the “Marsians” open up and breathe out their heartaches mostly involving their personal relationships. Rock also observes that drunk people are not afraid to cry — an act that’s taboo among the men. They seem to take advantage of the fact that they can always rationalize when the drinking palaver is through. “Who me… cried? Blame it on the booze, man!”

“It’s like they are in a therapy session or some kind of a confessional booth without walls where the talker feels absolved from something after venting out his thoughts and feelings,” says Christabel Garcia-Chao, MA, psychologist and professor of psychology at the Assumption Graduate School.

Unlike the real therapy sessions, however, “too much drinking produces significant damage to one’s health, career and relationships with self and one’s family,” Chao warns.

That’s when we also hear of so many brawling and fighting where too much alcohol is involved either, since drunk guys are no longer sensible, and if someone dares to disagree with someone else then the trouble begins. Some conversations lead to arguments and fights, especially when alcohol reaches the head as the belly is full. They would then seem to center around doing what they wanted to do, saying what they want to say without regard for the rights, wishes or privileges of anyone else — which they can later on regret as they snap back after the morning nausea.

Still, it’s a reality that men who drink in groups may see alcohol as the panecea of all ills. A chorus from the Mighty Mighty Bosstone’s Another Drinking Song can further show where they are coming from:

“Counting on a remedy I’ve counted on before

Going with the cure that’s never failed me

What you call a disease

I call the remedy

What you’re calling the cause

I call the cure…”

So why ruin a good thing by suggesting that two drinks per day is enough or else, that assertiveness training seminar is readily available, or that Alcoholic Anonymous is standing by should they go overboard? “Upgrade guys, we now have reached the era of cyber bonding and cafe society,” I even find myself pointing to another bordello.

to be continued….

From:Groupie and the Booze - The Lure of Drinking Fraternities

Stepping inside the world of drinkers, one would see that group drinking is a complex issue. For one thing, men perceive the tradition of drinking as a spice and bonding to friendship. Beyond the bottle is the tie that binds. “It’s also partly due to ‘pakikisama’,” says Alex, project contractor as he refers to a distinct Filipino tradition of getting along with the system. “I am working for a construction company where drinking is part of the system among colleagues, until we developed a drinking fraternity among ourselves.”

But why alcohol of all beverages? What’s in this strong drink that’s almost always there in the company of men? Whoever conceptualized the slogan “sarap maging barkada” for a popular beer ad must be toying around this notion.

A collaboration between the experts (psychologists) and para-experts (drinkers themselves) provides further indespensable truths behind the charisma of group drinking. Men turn to alcohol:

To relax. “It’s a sociology thing,” remarks Stephen, a Sociology student. “A drinking spree is a means for us to relax from work or from school. It’s also about peer pressure. Everybody does it, so I’ve got to do it, too, you know. And because alcohol is a depressant, drinking alone can make you sad or angry, but when you’re having fun with your drinking buddies, it doesn’t immediately happen until your whole body is dominated by alcohol,” he adds.

To forget problems. According to psychologist Frank Bruno, PhD, it is possible to temporarily blot out one’s troubles with alcohol. The classic film The Lost Weekend would also show the main character waking up on a Monday morning and realizes that he has no memory of 48 hours. “I tend to express myself better and become more creative since I feel worry-free after a few drinks,” observes Martin, a graphic designer, as he experiences such temporal vacancy.

To reduce shyness. Remember when some men have to drink it up in order to build confidence before they can bring themselves to court a girl? “Shyness is a common personality trait, and alcohol helps the individual to feel more self-confident in social relations,” suggests Dr. Bruno in his book Psychological Symptoms.

To get rid of inhibitions. “It’s got the kick,” says Roy, a computer technician. “When you drink you feel like you can do anything that you can’t when sober,” he adds. The more fluids are slid down the throat, the less inhibited drinkers become. Alcohol also often paves the way for sexual relations, reducing inhibitions and moral restraints, according to Dr. Bruno.

Buddies taking the shots speak the same language. They can talk about stuff that they can’t usually discuss with their mothers, girlfriends or wives —- such as women and sex. “Everybody agrees with everybody and they feel like kings of the world. I think that’s why they drink in groups because alone, they don’t feel powerful enough,” Stephen believes.

to be continued….

More:

Men who flock together for a drinking spree amaze me. They would disappear from their women, their work or studies to be with their friends for a night of splurging. It wouldn’t really matter whether it’s a weekday or a weekend as long as they can sneak out from the rest of the world. They would do it for the thrill and sometimes it becomes a habit. “Pour buddy,” one sip leads to another.

Seeing them together, one would forget what psychologist John Gray has been talking about men being from planet Mars and therefore are species who do not pour their minds and hearts out as women. Their red noses bear witness to the many glasses of liquor consumed through those happy hours and beyond at a bar, a beer house, a tavern, a sari-sari store, at kumpare’s house — wherever alcohol exists. Never mind the risk of a horrendous hangover, a bulging belly, disruptions from duties and sometimes personal relationships going sour, too.

The lure of drinking fraternities seems to transcend race, genes and socio-economic class since 400 B.C. — as long as history can remember. Hence, the ever bullish alcohol industry that also keeps spending millions of dollars in advertising to declare that group drinking is cool, and that it’s part of the cheers to the good life.

Continue here: Stepping inside